Breadcrumbs are the WORST 🍞🥖

In the wonderful world of online dating there is nothing more annoying than a guy who breadcrumbs.  Often these are the kind of guy you would be interested in (Good jobs, good education, strong christians, etc.).   I am sure girls do it too but I am a lady and I can only speak about my experiences with online dating.  In case you did not know the definition of breadcrumbing is below.

Breadcrumbing: The act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages (Bread crumbs) in order to lure someone romantically without expending much effort." 🍞🥖

Here are some examples of breadcrumbing I have had over the last few weeks

Bachelor #1
Bachelor #1 would send me countless pictures of him at work, and would text "how are you doing" or  the even more evasive "WYD" almost everyday. 😕   Occasionally we would have have good/ deep text conversations.   He was well educated and actually attended my church a few years prior to us connecting online.

Him: "Hey"
Me: "Howdy"
Him: "So.. I kind of want to meet you."
Me: "Great.  I would like to meet you too."
Him: "When  are you available?"
Me: "Friday after work or Sunday after church"
Him: "Probably Sunday.. I will let you know."

That Sunday, I sent him a "Hey, are we gonna get together text." around 9AM.    I went about my day.  Went to bible study class, church and had lunch with all of my friends from church. I checked my phone, and I noticed he had not communicated with me all day and it was now 3PM.   After lunch I did errands, got groceries and went to the gym.  Still nothing.

In fact he did not respond for three more days and acted like nothing happened.   I gave him the "We are not gonna work out" text and was done.
(Truthfully, I allowed this guy to ask me out two more times and flake on me before I finally ended things with him)


Bachelor #2
Bachelor 2 and I had been texting for weeks and even had several long phone calls(some over 2 hours).  He was on fire for the Lord and was well versed in scripture.   He would text me how he never felt so strong about a women before and how I was everything he was looking for in a future wife.  After several weeks of that I took the initiative.

Me: "I enjoy talking/texting with you, but do you have any interest I meeting me?"
Him: "Hey, you are so beautiful.  I am just dying to meet you."
Me: "Great.  When would you like to meet?"
Him: "You know what? I don't have my schedule with me but I will text you when I get it and set something up."

One week later
Him: "I am trying to find the perfect spot to take you for our first date.   Somewhere romantic and special."
Me: "How about.... coffee?"
Him: "No. It needs to be better than coffee.  You are the kind of woman you bring home to mom.  You deserve something better than coffee. "

One Week Later
Him: "Ok, beautiful, I found this restaurant that would be perfect for us. Have you ever heard of (insert name of restaurant)"
Me: "Yes!  I know exactly where that is.  When would you like to meet?"
Him: "Let me check my schedule at work and I will get back to you."

This continued for several weeks.  He would claim he didn't know his schedule, changed the restaurant location, changed the day he wanted to meet me.   During this time he would call me and have hour long conversations.  He would send me pictures and youtube clips.  He would seek constant validation and tell me how perfect and beautiful I was and thus, I would feel obligated to say similar things back.     When I finally accepted this was going nowhere, I sent the "This is not gonna work out" text and ended it.

I debated if I should post this blog or not.  It does not really talk about how my Christian walk has changed because of dating but was just kind of a post full of negative examples I have had with guys who are Christians.    Perhaps it has caused me to be a little more careful about how I interact with guys I am unsure about.   Am I making false promises?  Am I stringing guys along?

~Sunny :D

Sacrifices and God

Over the past few weeks I have had several dates with many guys.  Most of the guys I have gone on dates with are good guys but we just are not right for each other.   Some of these guys have even gone on 3-4 dates with.  Here is what I am noticing:

I was not right for them

They were not right for me

We were not right for each other

We are looking for different things

I am totally ok with this.  I would rather end things early then spend months with a guy there is not future with.   I am looking to make every guy like me, I am looking for "THE ONE".

Unfortunately, meeting all these guys have created some deficits in my schedule when it comes to time.   I have had to make sacrifices.    For example, one guy I met for coffee worked until 7:30PM,  which meant that I had to meet him for coffee at 8PM.   By the time the date was done and I was home, walked my dog, read my bible and showered it was 10:30PM.    I had to wake up the next morning at 5AM to go to work.

Aside from dating, I am also working full time, attend weekly bible studies twice a week, take classes through my school district once a week and I have friends and hobbies.   It has truly been a balancing act to juggle all of these things.

One things I am trying not to sacrifice is my time with the Lord.  It is easy (when we are busy) to put God on a shelf.   In the book "Boundaries in Dating" the author states "Many times a person will find her relationship with God taking some sort of detour as her dating world becomes more involved (Page 51-52).

OUCH~

I had to confess that I have had to sacrifice some things and one of them was completing my weekly bible study homework for Romans.   the Bible study is intense and asks really thought provoking questions.  Often the homework takes me 2-3 hours to complete.   Here it was, Tuesday night, hours before the Bible study was supposed to meet and I was trying to complete the work while texting 4 different guys.  I was distracted.  I was frustrated that I was not getting my work done and I almost skipped bible study that night.

Jesus is my most important relationship.  He should be getting my full focus when studying his word.   I should not be allowing guys to distract me from my walk with him.    I had to set a boundary with these guys, explain that I was buying doing my bible study homework.  I figured that if a guy really loved God he would be totally cool if I put my phone away to focus on Jesus (in fact, I believe the right guy would have encouraged that).

What happened?   Two of the guys got upset and one even accused me of leading him on and blocked me.   Wow!    I am glad that I set that boundary and I am going to be fervent with spending time with God in the future.  

As a friend said "If they don't respect your boundaries now, they won't respect them in the future."

I completely agree.

~Sunny :D

Technology in Dating: 9 to 9 Rule ⏰

I have recently begun being serious about dating.   I have been meeting many guys online and I have started a rule called the 9 to 9 rule.

Basically, I do not sent any texts nor do I reply to any texts before 9AM.    I do not make phone calls nor do I accept phone calls before 9AM.    On the flip side, I do not send or reply to texts after 9PM nor do I make or accept phone calls after 9PM.   I call this my 9 to 9 rule.   Between the hours of 9AM and 9PM I am open to communicating with guys when my schedule allows it.   However at 9PM the phone gets shut of.

If I am home, this is when I spend my time the the Lord and I don't need the distractions of my phone buzzing and blinking when I am trying to pray or read.   As soon as I wake up(5AM) I would turn my phone back on.⏰

Initially, I was open to talking to and texting guys during my planning time at work or on my morning commute.   However, I have learned that those are guys who were notoriously breadcrumbing me 😡🍞 and I realized how much time I wasted allowing guys to communicate with me when I could have been doing better things with my time. (Again, I am a busy girl).  Also, having my phone ring during prep time was becoming a distraction and was conflicting with my ability to plan out well thought-out and innovative lessons.

It is all about setting boundaries.  I have found that the guys who really like me don't care if I only respond to their texts during lunch or after work.  They encourage me to spend time with Jesus and turn off my phone at 9.    They understand I am not chained to my phone and respect my 9 to 9 rule.   If I find myself in a serious relationship with a guy, I will change my rule and allow more communication before 9AM but for now, it is a way for me to keep in touch with guys without losing my sanity.

~Sunny :D

Technology in Dating: Breadcrumbs 🍞🍞

Ghosting (Previous blog) is annoying but I think the idea of bread crumbing is way worse than ghosting.

Breadcrumbing: The act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages (Bread crumbs) in order to lure someone romantically without expending much effort." 🍞🥖

I am the victim of bread crumbing by three separate guys.
The guys sought me out over Plenty of Fish.
The  guys asked for my phone number
The guys spent weeks literally wasting my time with texts, pictures, meme's and youtube videos.
                      *One even had 2 hour long phone calls with me
The guys would ask me out but never schedule a specific time and place to meet.

The purpose of bread crumbing is keeping your options open while giving minimal investment to the the people you are choosing between.   I think this is terrible. While I agree it is important to date more than one guy until you find one you really like I would never string a guy along to stroke my own ego.   That is essentially what is happening.

I am a busy woman.  I have a full time job, bible study, friends, hobbies and a life.  I don't have time to sit around and constantly validate guys who have little to no romantic interest in me.  I think breadcrumbing is one of the most selfish things you can do to another person.

The key is to spot these guys quickly which is difficult to do when you think they really like you or if you really like them.  Just remember these guys are probably communicating with multiple women the same way they are communicating with you.   Here are some RED FLAGS to watch out for when you think you are dealing with someone who is breadcrumbing you.

Does he send the following:
Pictures of himself (Selfies) with very little backstory.
Memes that have nothing to do with anything you have discussed.
Youtube Video's of songs

Does he: 
Ask for constant validation about the things he sends to you.
Does he get upset when you don't tell him how cute he is/ smart he is/funny he is, etc.

Is he wishy-washing about meeting:
Is he suddenly out of town
Busy at work
He didn't notice you texted
The old "I will let you know."

I hope that I have been able to help you navigate what it feels like to be breadcrumbed and what kind of warning signs you should be looking for.    Since this is something I have had way too much experience with (in only the first few weeks of dating) I am sure I will continue to  post more about it as I continue on my journey.

~Sunny :D

Technology in Dating: Ghosting 👻

As I navigate the wonderful world of dating via. online dating, let me explain a word that was new to me.   That word is ghosting.

Ghosting: The practice of suddenly ending all contact with a person without explanation, especially in a romantic relationship. 👻

As a Christian I think ghosting is terrible.  My goal in dating is to be intentional and honest.  I value communication and I strive to be upfront with guys I am interested and with guys I lose interest in.    I would want a guy to give me some closure and I would be respectful enough to do the same.

If I don't feel like a relationship is going anywhere, I send a quick text:
"Hey (Insert name).  I have been thinking.   You are a good guy but I just don't think things are gonna work out between us.   I truly hope you find love, happiness and joy in all life has to offer."

Depending on the situation, I might be more specific about why:
 "You live too far away."
"I don't think we are looking for the same things."
"I don't think we click."
"Our work schedules conflict."

Often, a guy will agree and will text an equally friendly text explaining that he felt the same way and wishing me luck in my search for love.   Sometimes he will ask some texts asking for a follow up, and I will do my best to communicate with him.

This is how adults handle things.

If I even go on more than 5 dates with a guy, I feel like I should end it over the phone or in person.  I believe the deserves more than a standard break up text.

I understand the temptation to ghost (especially if you expect a negative reaction from the guy/girl you are talking to).  In some cases, I will admit sending the "we are not gonna work out" text and immediately blocking a guy's number because I expected a negative reaction.    I started doing that after one guy sent me a string texts calling me unrepeatable words.

The problem with ghosting is that it keeps the person on the other end of the phone wondering what happened.    I am sure I have gotten ghosted but I  have not been ghosted by any guy I have invested any real time with (so far).

If I ever suspect I have been ghosted, I send a "Hey, how are you doing text." and wait 24 hours.  If he has not responded, he is not interested.

Now, "we are not gonna work out" text only applies to guys I have gone on dates with or have exchanged phone numbers with and texted/talked on the phone for over a week.

See my post on Blocking to see what I do if the guy is offensive online.

~Sunny :D

Technology in Dating: WYD

WYD is text lingo for: "what are you doing."

I have decided this is the most evasive and annoying text message to receive on your phone from a potential suitor.   When I receive that text message I never know how to respond.

Do I tell him that my life is full of endless adventures(Sometimes true) or do I tell him I am binge eating goldfish crackers and watching Netflix in my pajamas(more likely)?  What if I have plans to go on a date that night with someone else?  Should I disclose this?  Should I allow him to make last minute plans with me (If I am honestly not doing anything?).   What if I am seeing a friend from church and getting coffee?  Does he need to know?

Then I have to wonder: Is it any of his business what I am doing?

I have decided that if I am not in a committed relationship with a guy then it is not his business what I am doing or who I am with 24/7.    

If he texts WYD I will respond honestly if I think it's something I want to share.

Examples:

"I am working on lesson plans."

"I am editing music on my computer."

"I am doing my bible study homework/ reading (Insert bible name I am currently reading)"

"I am plotting to take over the world."

"I am hanging out with my roommate."

"I am at the park with my dog."

"I am cleaning up my apartment."

If he texts WYD and I am busy doing something that I feel is none of his business, I will ignore the text and respond several hours later: "Hey, I was busy earlier.... what's up?" 

This is brilliant, because now he feels like he need to be accountable for what he is doing instead of you constantly telling him what you are up to.   If he does follow up texts about your what you are doing, you can use one of the above responses.  "Hey, I just got home and now I am hanging out with my roommate."  

As a Christian, I believe we need to be authentic and honest with each other.  I also believe that I deserve privacy in the early stages of a relationship.  

I hope this helps you navigate WYD.

~Sunny :D

Convictions and Prayer

I attend a Tuesday evening bible study. We are going through Romans.   This week we studied Romans 8:17-27.  I must admit I felt convicted when we discussed prayer.

I have always been honest that Prayer is something I struggle with.  I am very devoted to Jesus and I read my bible daily.  I enjoy studying the Bible and making connections between books.   Prayer is different, I can't wrap my mind around it and I can't understand it.  I pray but I sometimes don't know if God hears them.  This is the verse we looked at:

"We do not know what to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the Saints in accordance with God's will."  ~Romans 8:26-27

Our group leader shared 5 reasons to pray:
1) It is commanded in the Bible
2) It is considered a sin not to pray
3) Gives God Glory
4) Helps us to align our will with God's
5) God accomplishes his purpose through prayer.

Conviction.  

We began having a discussion about prayer and it's importance.  One of the girls in the class asked these questions:   What do we pray for?   What should we pray for?

We had a long discussion about what kind of things we should pray for:  People to accept Jesus, missionaries, to grow closer to God, for discernment in situations, for sick people, for Gods will in our lives.   Then we talked about what we really pray for: Marriage, kids, financial stability, jobs, and other such things.

Conviction.


Another friend said: "God answers prayers perfectly, wisely, lovingly, soberingly with his resources."

~Sunny :D

God Answers Prayers

I have been dating a guy for two weeks.  I was truly not sure what to do about him.

On one hand, I enjoyed spending time with him.  He was fun to hang out with and respected my physical boundaries.   I remember going to a party with some church friends and wishing I would have invited him to join us.

On the other hand, I had some concerns about his spiritual walk.  While I think he would have meshed with my friends I worried that he would not be able to step up and be the leader I desired.

Confused if I should continue spending time with him and potentially get more serious OR if I should end it I decided to pray about it.

I sat in my sunday school room and prayed to the Lord about what direction this relationship was supposed to go.   I explained to God that I wanted to continue seeing this guy but if God had other plans that the guy I was seeing would end the relationship because I was not strong enough to do it on my own.

5 hours later, the guy I was seeing ended the relationship via. text.

I was a little hurt but also thankful.  I was thankful things ended now before I spent more time and energy with this guy.  I am also thankful that the Lord answered my prayer so quickly.  When it comes to matters of the heart💖,  I sometimes have difficulty discerning God's will vs. my own.

"Give thanks in all circumstances~ for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. "
~1 Thessalonians 5:18

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything in his will, he hears us. and if we know that he hears us~ whatever we ask~ we know that we have what we asked of him."
~1 John 5:15

The Lord answered my prayer.  I guess this guy is not the right one for me.   I will continue to seek the Lords face as I continue on this adventure.

~Sunny :D

Are Christian Guys Being Told the Same Thing?

I recently saw a book titled "How to become a Ruth and find a Boaz" floating in ads on Facebook.    Over the years, I have read many books with similar themes.

I googled: Books for Single Christian Woman
There were probably 30 books written for Single Christian Women.  Here are some of the examples:

"If you want a Boaz, you must become a Ruth"

"God, where is my Boaz?"

"The Importance of Waiting Well"

"Become a Proverbs 31 Women"

"Lady in Waiting"

"Praying for Your Future Husband~ Preparing His Heart for Yours"

I have read most all of those kind of books.  Waiting is good.  Prepare for a husband and he won't be able to resist you.   Devote yourself fully to God.  Read your bible, Serve in the church.

We ladies begin reading these books at a young age (Some of these books are even being used by youth ministries).   I agree that we should be devoting ourselves to God, reading our bible and serving in church.   However I have to wonder:

Are Guys getting the same advice when preparing for marriage?

I googled: Books for Single Christian Men
And believe it or not, most of the books were still written for Christian Women.  More examples"

"Where have all the good men gone?"

"Waiting for a Unicorn.  Where are all the Christian Men?"

"A Woman's Prayer~ For Christian Men."

Finally, I was able to find a few books written for Christian Men:

"10 Women Christian Men Should Marry."

I decided to research my concern further and realized that most of the blogs/advice that have been  written for Christian Single Men about dating and marriage are just checklists of what to look for in a Godly woman.   None of the are advising the guy to prepare for marriage by devoting to God.  There are no books telling a guy he needs to be more like Boaz.   He is not being advised to read scripture, get fully devoted to God and have a strong prayer life.   It's as if when a guy decides it is time to get married, he has a practical guide on how to find the best wife possible but it never advises him to be the perfect husband.

I wonder why the girl to guy ratio in singles groups are 5 women :1 guy
I wonder why I sit in a room full of women who practically have theology degrees and guys who rarely open their bibles.
I wonder why there is a shortage of quality, Godly men.

We have not held our young men to the same standards we require of young ladies when preparing for marriage.  We are advising women to be fully devoted to God and regularly attend church but we are not requiring the same of the guys.   We have created a culture of allowing guys to hold all the cards while not bringing anything to the table.

I have no idea how to change this other than encourage unmarried men to develop stronger relationships with the Lord, read their bibles, pray and be fully devoted to God before seeking out a wife.

~Sunny :D

Unequally Yoked

Yesterday I went on my FIRST DATE in five years.  I know you are all very excited for me.   We met on Plenty of Fish.   He is a Christian who plays guitar at church and is a facilities manager for a hotel chain.  We went to Red Robin for dinner and went for a walk around the area to look at Christmas lights that were still up.  We held hands.  It was sweet.

We had amazing chemistry on the date.  He was funny, interesting and intelligent.  He set up a second date and I am looking forward to it.   My concern:   He was not as strong in the Lord as I was.

During our date he confessed that his work schedule prevents him from attending church often and he has not played guitar for any church since he moved to Phoenix (a year ago).   I asked him questions about his walk with the Lord and I was unsure if he was as knowledgeable about scripture as I was.  He didn't misquote it, and he had an understanding of Grace but I felt like something was missing.    He finally said: "You are the kind of women who could get me back into church and on the right path."

That didn't settle well with me.  I am glad that I am the kind of girl who encourages guys to want to be more devoted to church and God.. But... Is that my job?

While we all can agree that dating a non-christian is a terrible idea:

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.  For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?  Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"
                                                                        ~2 Corinthians 6:14

I am unsure if dating a guy who is not as spiritually strong as I am is a wise decision.   I do not think the guy I went on a date with was wicked or in darkness.  However, is dating a lukewarm Christian similar to being unequally yoked?   Why isn't he on fire for God?  Is he lukewarm only because he work schedule prevents him from attending church or are there deeper issues?   Am I only having these concerns because I am a female? I believe men are supposed to be the spiritual leaders.

Is this a red flag?

If Jesus is the center of my life and a huge component to my identity can I really be in a relationship with a guy who does not share the same passion for the Lord?

Maybe I am getting ahead of myself. It was only one date, but these are questions I have been pondering since last night.

I wish I knew the answer.   I wish I could tell you that I knew exactly how to react in this situation but the reality is that I don't.  I am new to dating (after taking many years off) and I know I did not do it right the first time around.

I am praying about it.  I am seeking wise counsel as well from trusted Christian friends who know me and might be able to help me figure out what to do when faced with a lukewarm (but good) Christian guy.

~Sunny :D

Book Review: Boundaries in Dating

The book "Boundaries in Dating" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend is the most practical dating advice book I have ever read in my life.  If you are a single Christian who is contemplating marriage, I suggest reading this book.

I accepted Christ 20 years ago and soon after I read various books that discouraged dating.  Two books in particular "Never Been Kissed" by Joshua Harris and "When God Writes Your Love Story" By Eric and Leslie Ludy.  Both stressed courtship and legalized discouraged dating in any way.  It made things between singles awkward and made guys hesitant to ask a lady out for a cup of coffee unless he felt that she was "the one". It made women self-conscience about leading guys on and they made everyone afraid to talk to the opposite sex.  

In a perfect world, I would meet my future husband at work, or when I was working on my Master Degree or serving in church.   These books made me believe that was the only way to meet someone and If I dated guys outside of those boxes, it was outside of God's will for my life. 

However, these books failed to really teach me how to find someone who would be right for me.  

The book "Boundaries in Dating" critizes those kind of books and examines other methods of dating.   In this book the authors (McCloud and Townsend) dispel myths of dating and explain that dating people is not ungodly, or bad.. It is the way you date others that can cause problems.   Humans can complicate dating with selfish motivations or lack of maturity. 

By setting healthy boundaries and standards I can prevent myself from getting hurt and decide what is important to me when deciding if I should continue with a long term commitment.   Dating can help me develop healthy relationships with others, learn about others.  Dating is relational and can give me an opportunity to build relationships with members of the opposite sex even if it does not lead to marriage. 

In other words, I can continue the process of sanctification, honor God and date guys.   Making decisions that are honest.   Have open communication with others.  Be accountable to trusted friends/mentors.   Be intentional on my dates and date a variety of guys.   Make sure that my actions glorify God and honor others.

As stated above.  I recommend this book 100%

~Sunny :D

New Years Resolutions/Goals

It is January 1st, 2018 and it is time for me to reflect on all everything that happened in 2017 and set goals for this year.  I don't know if I like the word Resolution.

Resolution: A firm decision to do or not to do something. (definition)

I might make a firm decision to lose weight but unless I have specific goals I find that those resolutions fail.   So I am calling them 2018 goals instead of resolutions.

My goals for this year are:
1) Continue to Grow in Christ
2) Make an effort to find someone suitable for myself (Dating)
3) Sign up for 12 races (5K).

How will I grow in Christ?
Typically I read the New Testament between Christmas and Easter (Did that for years) and then I spend the summer studying one book.  Then in the fall I will do a topical study (like prayer or spiritual gifts, fruit of the Spirit, etc.).

One of my friends at church told me that she reads one book 20 times in a row.   For example: She will read the book of James 20 times.  Then she reads the book of Galatians 20 times.  Then she read Philippians 20 times.  She told me that she has done that with most of the New Testament (Except:  Revelation, Luke and Matthew).  I think I am going to try doing this to mix things up.  She said that she has enjoyed doing that because she is able to make connections.

I am also attending a bible study on Romans through my church.  (I actually started to attend that in August~ and it has been intense but amazing).    I am considering joining a study through the New Testament using the chronological bible but I am afraid that it might be too much and will conflict with some of my other goals.

How will I find someone suitable for myself (Dating)
This one is tricky.  I can't make someone like me and I have standards for the kind of guy I am interested in finding.  What I can do is pray about it and make an effort to meet eligible guys.   Sign up for online dating websites (Plenty of Fish and Match.Com).   Check out Meetup.Com, and read books about how to navigate dating in 2018.

Sign up for 12 races (5K)
Every year I try to lose weight.   Honestly, I lost about 20 pounds in 2017 but I am nowhere near my goal weight.  I decided that I needed to focus on improving my weight loss efforts by adding more exercise.  On days I exercised, I was more likely to follow my diet plan/weight loss goals than on days I didn't exercise.   So I decided to sign up for 12 races (one each month).    There is a website called "Moon Joggers" and they have virtual races.   Basically, I signed up for a race, and they would send me a metal.  The races cost between $18-$25 each.  I only signed up for a few races (January-April) but I plan on signing up for more in a few months.

~Sunny :D

Are you single because you are good at being single?

I am single.  I have established and identify as a single women in Christ.   I have read countless books, blogs and articles on the subject.   I have watched videos and listened to podcasts by Pastors about Singles.  I have even maintained a blog about being a single women.

 I know how to fill my time in Christ Honoring ways as a single woman.  Growing closer to God.  Reading my bible, praying and studying the word of God.    Learning to cook, learning to build Ikea furniture, learning how to make the perfect white chocolate raspberry cheesecake.  Growing closer bonds to other female friends, getting involved at work.

However, a friend recently asked me:

"Do you think you are single because you are good at being single?"

My friend went on to explain that maybe I am single because I have chosen to make this my identity instead of trying to find someone.  I reminisced about all the dating books I read over the years and how they explained the courtship process.   I always figured I would Mr. Right serving at a church.   I wanted this Hollywood movie style romance that was designed by God.  I read those well-intentioned books written by Christian authors and believed my love story would happen in the way those books communicated it would.

Perhaps that is what would have worked if I was still in my 20's.  However, I am a 40 year old woman and I need to begin exploring how to meet good, Godly men in my own age demographic.

I took 2017 off from dating, but I am going to make a real honest effort to change my single girl identity to one of a married women.  I understand that God is in control and I might not meet anyone in 2018~ but you never know.

Instead of avoiding opportunities to meet guys I need to put myself out there.   How does a 40 year old Godly woman meet eligible guys?  

I have begun to ask the husbands of my friends if they know any good guys.  I signed up for Plenty of Fish and Match.Com.  (Happy New Year Sunny)   I ordered books on how to date, how to set up online profiles and how to navigate online dating.  And above all else, I committed everything to prayer.

Hopefully I will find a good guy in 2018!

~Sunny :D