Technology in Dating: Ghosting 👻

As I navigate the wonderful world of dating via. online dating, let me explain a word that was new to me.   That word is ghosting.

Ghosting: The practice of suddenly ending all contact with a person without explanation, especially in a romantic relationship. 👻

As a Christian I think ghosting is terrible.  My goal in dating is to be intentional and honest.  I value communication and I strive to be upfront with guys I am interested and with guys I lose interest in.    I would want a guy to give me some closure and I would be respectful enough to do the same.

If I don't feel like a relationship is going anywhere, I send a quick text:
"Hey (Insert name).  I have been thinking.   You are a good guy but I just don't think things are gonna work out between us.   I truly hope you find love, happiness and joy in all life has to offer."

Depending on the situation, I might be more specific about why:
 "You live too far away."
"I don't think we are looking for the same things."
"I don't think we click."
"Our work schedules conflict."

Often, a guy will agree and will text an equally friendly text explaining that he felt the same way and wishing me luck in my search for love.   Sometimes he will ask some texts asking for a follow up, and I will do my best to communicate with him.

This is how adults handle things.

If I even go on more than 5 dates with a guy, I feel like I should end it over the phone or in person.  I believe the deserves more than a standard break up text.

I understand the temptation to ghost (especially if you expect a negative reaction from the guy/girl you are talking to).  In some cases, I will admit sending the "we are not gonna work out" text and immediately blocking a guy's number because I expected a negative reaction.    I started doing that after one guy sent me a string texts calling me unrepeatable words.

The problem with ghosting is that it keeps the person on the other end of the phone wondering what happened.    I am sure I have gotten ghosted but I  have not been ghosted by any guy I have invested any real time with (so far).

If I ever suspect I have been ghosted, I send a "Hey, how are you doing text." and wait 24 hours.  If he has not responded, he is not interested.

Now, "we are not gonna work out" text only applies to guys I have gone on dates with or have exchanged phone numbers with and texted/talked on the phone for over a week.

See my post on Blocking to see what I do if the guy is offensive online.

~Sunny :D