Book Review: Boundaries in Dating

The book "Boundaries in Dating" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend is the most practical dating advice book I have ever read in my life.  If you are a single Christian who is contemplating marriage, I suggest reading this book.

I accepted Christ 20 years ago and soon after I read various books that discouraged dating.  Two books in particular "Never Been Kissed" by Joshua Harris and "When God Writes Your Love Story" By Eric and Leslie Ludy.  Both stressed courtship and legalized discouraged dating in any way.  It made things between singles awkward and made guys hesitant to ask a lady out for a cup of coffee unless he felt that she was "the one". It made women self-conscience about leading guys on and they made everyone afraid to talk to the opposite sex.  

In a perfect world, I would meet my future husband at work, or when I was working on my Master Degree or serving in church.   These books made me believe that was the only way to meet someone and If I dated guys outside of those boxes, it was outside of God's will for my life. 

However, these books failed to really teach me how to find someone who would be right for me.  

The book "Boundaries in Dating" critizes those kind of books and examines other methods of dating.   In this book the authors (McCloud and Townsend) dispel myths of dating and explain that dating people is not ungodly, or bad.. It is the way you date others that can cause problems.   Humans can complicate dating with selfish motivations or lack of maturity. 

By setting healthy boundaries and standards I can prevent myself from getting hurt and decide what is important to me when deciding if I should continue with a long term commitment.   Dating can help me develop healthy relationships with others, learn about others.  Dating is relational and can give me an opportunity to build relationships with members of the opposite sex even if it does not lead to marriage. 

In other words, I can continue the process of sanctification, honor God and date guys.   Making decisions that are honest.   Have open communication with others.  Be accountable to trusted friends/mentors.   Be intentional on my dates and date a variety of guys.   Make sure that my actions glorify God and honor others.

As stated above.  I recommend this book 100%

~Sunny :D