Single Fence (Part 1)

Have you ever heard the expression: “The grass is greener on the other side”?  I am sure you have because it’s a very popular expression.  The other side they are talking about simply means the other side of the fence.   In other words, when we look at our neighbors grass it looks greener than ours.   It is better than what we have.  They are happier; more content. 

            However, this is really just a way that we covet our neighbor’s life.   I have many, many single friends who have deep longings for marriage.    We look at our married friends who are blessed with a Godly spouse and kids and wonder: “Why do they have that and I don’t?”  We desire the comfort that comes from having a family and a purpose. Often we wish for a mortgage, two cars, and life insurance policies. We ask GOD: “When is it my turn?”    When begin to question if GOD really has our best interests at heart.    We get so wrapped up in wishing for the things we don’t have that we miss out on the things we do have.  We look at our neighbors grass and believe it is greener than ours.

            Do you know that most married people envy us?  When they look at our grass they see concerts, trips, and adventures.  Yes, they have the mortgage, a life insurance policy and 2.5 kids but we have freedom.   We can sleep in until noon.  We can afford to give more generously to our churches and ministries.   We can take trips.    Single people really have zero responsibilities.   I have multiple people tell me that they live “vicariously” through me. 

            The apostle Paul states: “Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the LORD assigned to him and to which GOD has called.” ~1 Corinthians 7:17.  In Philippians Paul states: “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living or plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” ~ Philippians 4:11

            In these two verses Paul is simply stating that we should be content in whatever situation the LORD has put us in.  Married people should strive to be content being married and singles should be content staying single.   Instead of looking over our fences at our neighbors grass, we should spend more time tending our own grass and finding the blessings this season has given each of us.

~Sunny :D

Single Fence (Part 2)

I have to confess I have been on the fence about an opportunity at my church.

            The single’s pastor at my Church wants to start a new group for singles who are 30-39.    My church has a group for 20-29 and a singles group for 40-59.    I used to kind of razz the single’s pastor at my church for skipping a decade and making us 30 year old singles feel “singled” out.    Apparently there have been many people asking him why our church does not provide a group for people who are single and 30-39.   

            I am very involved in my church (and very visual) so naturally he asked me to join this group several months ago.  Originally I was going to join; but as the months have passed I have found my desire to join this group weakening.  The more I think about it, the less I want to go.

              A fence is a boundary line.  I am on the fence about attending this singles group.  I am finally finding contentment in the grass on my side of the fence and I am unsure if I want to mess that up.   

Earlier this year I stated that I wanted 2014 to be a boy-drama free year.   I have to admit that it is boy-drama free and it is FANTASTIC!   There are no guys at my job.  No guys in the ministries I participate in at church.  No guys at my bible study.  ZERO.  Zilch.  Nada. None. I am finding incredible joy in this season because I don’t have any distractions.    I am not wasting my time pulling rose petals off of flowers asking: “Does he love me? Does he love me not?”  I don’t have to worry why he didn’t call.   I don’t have to put up with dating games or spend hours analyzing the conversations I have with anyone.   It is GLORIOUS!

I spend my time building relationships with people from church and work.  I spend my time serving the LORD at work and at church.  I spend my time getting into the word of GOD and worshiping him.  I spend my time learning new hobbies.

Right now I am off of any guys radar.  Apparently there are 60 single people who are single and between the ages of 30-39 currently attending my church.   I can say with full confidence I don’t know a “single” one of them.  (Get the play on words..) 

To be honest… I am ok with this.

            I like the fact I am kind of “flying under the radar”.  I don’t have any guys pursuing me because they don’t know I exist.  I don’t have to wonder why some guy stared at me for 6 months, began to pursue me, and then ignored me the minute I started to like him.   I am sitting on the fence and trying to decide if I am ready to jump over and attend the singles group and deal with stupid boy drama or if I should just stay where I am. 

“Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup.  You have made my lot secure.  The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places: surely I have a delightful inheritance”. 

~Psalm 16: 5-6

       The boundary line is like a fence; hence I am on the fence about joining this singles group.  There is peace within the boundary GOD has placed for me.  He is pruning me and I am growing the Fruit of the Spirit each and every day.   My garden is serene and calm.  I have stillness before the LORD.  I feel content where I am in life. 

Do I want to ruin the beautiful quiet that GOD has given my spirit by joining this single’s group?   Do I want to be in a room full of anxious people who are desperate to get married when I have so much peace about this season?   Do I want single, eligible guys in my church to know I am here?

What does GOD think about all this?   Well, just because the singles group is “permissible does not mean it’s beneficial”~ 1 Corinthians 6:12.   I am allowed to attend this group, but it probably won’t benefit me as much as my small group bible study does.   I guess it all comes down to trust.  I trust GOD.    I trust that he will supply all my needs according to the riches in Christ Jesus?  I trust GOD that if it is supposed to happen with someone, it will in GOD’s timing.  I trust that he will not delay in answering my prayer.

I guess I am not on the fence anymore.  I have decided to stay within the boundary GOD has placed for me and tend my garden. 

~Sunny :D

Obligatory Valentine's Day Post

What is LOVE?   This is a topic that has eluded me since I was a young girl.  I don’t understand it.   It seems so complicated and so simple at the same time.  Love seemed so elusive to me. We all want to experience love and society tells us that love can only be found in romantic relationships.  Media such as TV, movies and music all convey the same notions.  Love= Romance and Romance=Love.   Does this mean single people are unloved?

 I spent Valentine’s Day alone and decided I wanted to find out how GOD viewed love.   I went to a park with a cup of coffee and opened my bible and found the answers I sought.

GOD IS LOVE:

“So we have come to know and believe the love that GOD has for us.  GOD is love, and whoever abides in love abides in GOD, and GOD abides in him. ~ 1 John 4:16

GOD LOVES US:

“For GOD so loved the world that he sent his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” ~ John 3:16

“By this we know love, that HE (Jesus) laid down his life for us.” ~ 1 John 3:16

GOD WON’T FORGET ABOUT YOU:

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?  Though she may forget, I will not forget you!  See I have engraved you on the palms of my hands” ~ Isaiah 31:15-16

If you have not accepted Christ, I am going to encourage you to do so.  GOD LOVES YOU and he desires a relationship with you, but that relationship can only be achieved though Christ.  Turn away from sin and find the promises of LOVE that GOD has for you.  Here are more promises from Scripture.

GOD’s LOVE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE:

“Who can separate us from the love of CHRIST” ~ Romans 8:35

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will ever separate us from the love of GOD that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~Romans 8:38-39    

GOD’s LOVE SURROUNDS YOU:

“Have power together with the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.  And to know that love surpasses knowledge- may you be filled to the measure of all the fullness of GOD.” ~ Ephesians 3:18-19

“Your love, oh LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies” ~Psalm 36:5

GOD’s LOVE IS EVERLASTING:

 “The LORD appeared to us in the past saying: I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness.” ~ Jeremiah 31:3

GOD’s LOVE IS UNFAILING:
“Turn O LORD, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love.” ~ Psalm 6:4

“I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.” ~ Psalm 13:5

GOD is LOVE and to understand what love is, you must understand who GOD is.   Please open your bibles and find those promises waiting for you in his word.

~Sunny :D

GOD's Family

“GOD sets the lonely in families” ~ Psalm 68: 6

            I read this verse several years ago.  When reading it I interpreted it as a promise that GOD would give me a husband and a family.  I was feeling lonely and that would be my solution.  Genesis outlines the plan Man + Woman= Family.

            However, I don’t think that is true anymore.   While I do think that marriage is part of GOD’s plan for my life, I think he has something bigger in mind.  I am humbled to know that GOD has infinite wisdom and his ways are not my ways.   In Ephesians, Paul writes: “He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.”   When we accept Christ, we become Children of GOD.  We become part of GOD’s family.   We are adopted into the kingdom of GOD. 

            GOD’s family is found in the church.   Around Christmas I had this overwhelming burden to get more involved into my church and invest in relationships with other believers.   Since Christmas I have opened my home more often.  I have reached out to make connections with some of my “senior saints” and other believers.    I have been richly blessed by some of the ministries I have found myself in.  Some of the contacts I have made have helped me to grow in my relationship with the LORD.  I was lonely and I kept asking GOD to answer his promise and put me into a family and GOD showed me that I already belong to one.

            GOD has shown me that my church family loves me.   They care about me.  They support me.  I can confide in them and they will give me good advice.   They can mentor me.  I feel protected by them.  

            Church people long to build community.   They want to belong to something.  I have learned that my church family desires the opportunities to grow together just as much as we singles do.

I encourage every single person who reads my blog to invest in relationships with members of your church.   Don’t just get involved into Single’s ministries or seek out romantic acquaintances.   Reach out and make other connections.  Take a widow to lunch.  Invite an older couple over for dinner.   If you are female, ask another woman to meet up for coffee or go for a walk.  If you are a male, ask a fellow male to play basketball.    

Make connections. Build relationships.  Belong to GOD’s family!

~Sunny :D

GOD sees what is NEXT

As a dog owner, I spend a great deal of time walking my dog.   Sometimes we go hiking, sometimes we go to nearby park and sometimes we stay in the neighborhood. 

            I was hiking with my pug a few weeks ago and as we were walking I heard howling noises.  I have been told that Coyotes live in those hills and they like to come down the mountain when it gets dark out.   It was around 5:30 so I was quite sure the howling noises I heard were coyotes.  I decided to turn around and head back to my car immediately.  My pug, however wanted to go the other way.   He was stubborn.  He was pulling on the leash.  He was digging his legs into the dirt.  He did everything he could to try to get me to go the other way.  But I knew what was out there and I wanted to keep him safe.   I saw what was coming even if he didn’t.

            How often do I act like my pug when it comes to following the leading of the LORD?   He tells me to go one way and I keep insisting that I should go the other way.   I am stubborn.  I dig my feet.  I try to pull on the leash.   I try to reason with GOD, I try to negotiate, I beg and I plead and I cry out: “But GOD, I want to go THAT WAY!!”

            Thankfully, we worship a patient GOD.  GOD knows what is coming.  He sees what is next.  He knows about the dangers because Scripture promises “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do no be afraid; do not be discouraged” ~ Deuteronomy 31:8.   GOD sees what is ahead because he is already there.  He is all knowing and he knows where the dangers lie.   I don’t need to be afraid because my life is in the hands of an all knowing, loving GOD. 

            Why am I still so stubborn?   Well, I am human.  Everyday I am learning to trust GOD more and rely on myself less.    This is a scary process, but it is an amazing journey.

~Sunny :D