How you make me feel...

I feel butterflies when you walk in the room.   Sometimes I can't even speak. 

The second I laid eyes on you~ I felt something.

Things are different with you.

I was so nervous I could not even speak to you.

I had to walk away.

I had to run.

I can't explain it.

I am usually very confident, but around you that confidence would fade.

People tell me about you~ I always hear you name.

You are an Amazing Man of GOD

Strong, intelligent, hard-working and kind.

You sound perfect for me.

If only I could speak to you~ 

instead of run and hide.

A year ago I noticed that you had noticed me.

A new haircut, new clothes and you were starring at me.

I tried to ignore you and push you away.

I know you are "that guy".

They one every girl wants to date. 

And I was not sure why you were watching me. 

Soon, you made more effort.

You started coming around.

You smiled, you were warm.

You were exactly what they said you were. 

Kind and gentle man of GOD.

I am falling for you~

This cannot be happening to me.

Not with you~ 

I push you away because I am so afraid of getting hurt.

I prayed for GOD to take away the butterflies.

Please take these feelings away!

I can't tell you how many times I prayed 

You would leave. 

You continue to pursue me, and my heart begins to swoon.

We have so much in common

As I get to know you, I like you more and more. 

I am no longer afraid of you

I am starting to see you as everyone else sees you.

We are becoming friends. 

Then you disappear~ you won't even say a word.

You no longer stare at me 

You cancelled plans

And I am left wondering..

What did I do wrong?

Where do you go?

 I hate the way you make me feel.  

Those butterflies are still there 

I am giving you space and taking mine as well.

I prayed for GOD to take those butterflies away.

I prayed for you to leave.  

But you continued to pursue me

and now you are gone.

My heart is broken.  My spirit is disheartened. 

Perhaps I knew the ending to this sad story before it began.

My gut was right, you were just going to hurt me.

And now I am left in a pool of tears.

I am not sure why you pursued me, but I hope you realize

that my heart is fragile and more than just a toy

Please leave me alone and I will do the same for you!

I know it is not fair, I don't want to "be your friend".

I want you out of my life

Unless you are willing to give me

So I need to assume he does not. 

Which is difficult and makes me feel like I have to stuff my feelings into a box. 

Soul mate or God's best?

When it comes to Christian dating, there seems to be two trains of thought.

"God's choice"
There is "one" and he/she is the only one I am supposed to be with and GOD decided who I was going to marry a long time ago and I am going to wait until he reveals who this person is.

"Your choice"
GOD gave us free will to decide who we should choose.  The bible states they must be a Christian, other than that, it is your choice.   We should use our free will to choose the best match for us.

Which line of thinking is right?

I read a lot of articles where the authors believe that we single Christians "over-spiritualize" it and make dating a lot more complicated than it has to be.  I agree with this line of thought..

However,

I want the one GOD's wants for me.  I want to find that guy who is so perfect for me that we go together like peanut butter and jelly.   I don't want any doubts or hesitations.

People tell me that when he is the right one, we will both "just know".

My tummy sometimes gets anxious thinking I might be stepping out of GOD's will when I try to take matters into my own hands.

I am at a good place in my career. I have reached my educational goals.   I don't have sin problems (Strong holds) that I know about.    I have a strong relationship with GOD.  People at my church consider me a Godly women and nobody has any idea why I am still single.

And I don't get it either!

I have asked GOD to search my heart so I could find the reason I am still single~

GOD is silent.

I have always avoided internet dating and "getting out there" because I am afraid I will miss out on GOD's best because I am wasting all my time with the wrong guys.   I figured if I was faithful to GOD and involved in my church GOD would eventually bring "the one" to me.   I know people who maintain multiple dating website accounts, they attend multiple singles events & groups, they do everything they can to find "the one".

And they have not found him/her yet.

I have trouble doing that.   I can't sign up for dating websites because  I find it a waste of time and money.   I feel like I am trying to play God with my love life.

Yet, I have not had a date in 2 years.

But~  I also did not feel "ready" to date two years ago.

I feel like I am in a much better place to get into a relationship than I was two years ago.  I do feel like GOD has been working on my heart and trying to prepare me for marriage.

Give me the patience to wait a little longer Oh, LORD..

~Sunny :D

Daily Sufficient Grace

    I have been getting into the practice of improving my prayer life.  I am learning to lay my requests at the feet of Jesus every morning.   “In the morning, O LORD you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.” ~Psalm 5:3.

            I have been praying out to GOD to reveal his will for a situation that I hold very near and dear to my heart.   I want an answer.  I want to know the future.  I want to know how everything will all turn out.  I become a spoiled child and tell GOD that I don’t want to do what he is asking me to do unless I know how it will turn out.  I prayed about this situation and GOD spoke: “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of it’s own”. ~Matthew 6:34.

            I don’t know how this situation will end.  I am scared, I am afraid.  I don’t want to risk the things the LORD is asking me to risk.    However, this is where TRUST is found.   “Trust in the LORD and lean not on your own understanding, in all ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.” ~ Proverbs 3: 5-6.

            I continued to prod GOD and ask him to just give me the answer I crave so it will satisfy my curious mind.   I told him that I was feeling anxious and needed to know the answers.    The LORD said: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9.

I realized I am trying to hurry GOD along.  I am trying to force an answer instead of waiting for his timing.  I even told GOD a “NO” would be ok just as long as I get an answer so I know how to handle this situation.   This is not how GOD works.  He wants us to wait on him.   He wants us to trust him!

I guess I will continue to follow the leading of the LORD and take things “One day at a time!”

~Sunny :D

Hide & Seek

In the book of Genesis, Adam and Eve ate a piece of fruit and then their eyes became opened to sin.   They heard the LORD walking in the garden and they hid from the LORD.  But the LORD called out: “Where are you?”  ~Genesis 3:1-9

            This bible passage is the essentially the first game of hide and go seek.   Times have not changed since the beginning of the Earth because we humans still play a divine game of “Hide and GO seek” with GOD.   This game exists because of sin.    When we sin, it causes a divide between the Lord and us. 

            When we sin, GOD hides from us.   “Truly you are a GOD who hides himself, O GOD and Savior of Israel.” ~Isaiah 45:15.     “Your iniquities have separated you from God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear. ~ Isaiah 59:2.

When we sin, GOD does not hear our prayers until we ask for forgiveness.

            However, often we don’t want to repent.  We want to “hold onto” that sin that we cherish.   During this stage, we are just like Adam and Eve~ we try to hide from GOD.     GOD is everywhere and our feeble attempts to hide will not work.  “Nothing in all creating is hidden from GOD’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” ~Hebrews 4:13. 

            Eventually the LORD softens our hearts and we go before him with repentant hearts.  We long to be right with GOD and he desires a right relationship with us.   “Come near to GOD and he will come near to you.” ~James 4:8.   “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”  ~Hebrews 4:16.    “In a surge of anger, I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you says the LORD your Redeemer.” ~Isaiah 54:8

A restored relationship with the LORD brings peace.  Repentance ends the game of hide and go seek.

~Sunny :D

Seriously!?!?!?

I have been reaching out to several single women who have been attending my church.   My goal is to meet with each one over coffee or lunch to find out who they are and what they are all about.

I am finding these women of God are not very different from my worldly friends.   They swear, they drink, they don’t read their bibles and they sleep with the guys they date.   I had a very discouraging conversation with a fellow lady.   It goes as follows:

HER: I slept with the last 2 guys I dated.    How about you?  

ME: No.  I don’t do stuff like that.

HER:  Make out sessions? Do you fool around?  How far do you go? Come on spill it!

ME: I don’t feel comfortable doing that.

HER:  Come on, you can tell me.. I won’t tell anyone.

ME:  There is nothing to tell. 

HER: So, what did you do with the last guy you dated?

ME: We went to the zoo, got frozen yogurt, went to a Skate party, and the school basketball game.

HER: Were you 14?

ME: No.  We worked together.  

HER:  So, you didn’t do anything with him?  Not even a hot make-out session?

ME: No.  I told you I don’t agree with that kind of stuff.  He and I decided to focus on building the friendship instead of being physical. 

HER:  (Rolls eyes) You are no fun!

            Seriously!?!?!? I was insulted that she would equate me to a common whore and then she made fun of me because I was following my convictions (That line up with GOD’s word).   After our conversation, two verses came to mind:

“Watch out for false prophets.  They come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.  By their fruit you will recognize them.”

~Matthew 7:15-16.

“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves.  Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”

~Matthew 10:16

 I am going to be friendly with her but keep my distance from now on.   However, women wonder why they can’t find a good Godly man.  Well, it is because of this!    GOD will not bless disobedience! 

A man will always reap what he/she sows!

~Sunny :D

Priorities for Single Christians

How are Singles supposed to spend our time?   What should our priorities be?   I have been mulling over this question for a few months and I think I found the solution.   Our priorities fall under three categories.

GOD

CAREER

EVERYTHING ELSE

GOD

            Our FIRST priority is GOD.  This is a season in our lives where we can fully engage with the LORD with zero distractions.   Work on your walk with GOD.  Study the Word of GOD, improve your prayer life, learn how to hear his voice and communicate with the creator.  Every minute you spend with the LORD is a good use of time.  This is the season we can use to really understand who GOD is.   Learn to make GOD a priority so then if (and when) you get married you will already have clear established devotional time.  “Come near to GOD and he will come near to you.” ~James 4:8. 

            Ministry also falls under the GOD category.  The season of singleness gives us an opportunity to fill the many needs found in the church.   Join the choir, become an usher, bake a casserole, help out with the kids.   Want to feel like you are part of a church family?   GET INVOLVED!    If you are not sure where you can help, talk to the pastor and he will gladly find a place for you to serve.   Jesus did not come to get served, but he came to serve others. (Mark 10:45).    Service glorifies and pleases GOD.   Service blesses others.  “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering GOD’s grace in in’s various forms.” ~1 Peter 4:10.

CAREER

            After GOD, singles should spend their time focused on their careers.   You do not have the distractions of a spouse or children so use this time to invest in your occupation of choice.     Go to college, get an advanced degree or learn a trade.   Read literature written by leaders in your field.    Find a mentor or expert and discover how they became successful and try to emulate them.  Use this time wisely. “Be very careful, then how you live- not as unwise but as wise.  Making the most of every opportunity” ~Ephesians 5:15-16.

            Work hard for your employer because it pleases the LORD.    Get to work on time and don’t leave early.  Don’t cut corners when it comes to doing tasks that the boss requires.   Don’t grumble when your supervisor gives a direct order.  Go about your work and do so cheerfully.   You are doing your work for the LORD, not for man.  Diligently go about your work because it pleases the LORD.  “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the LORD and not for men.” ~Colossians 3:23. 

EVERYTHING ELSE

            Everything else falls into the last category.  Friendships, relationships, hobbies, interests, pets.   When making decisions on how to spend your time make sure you are choosing Christ honoring activities.  Find things to fill your time that have lasting value.   “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think of such things.” ~Philippians 4:8

           

            I am sure you have heard that old expression: “you have to be a friend to get a friend?”   Now is a great time to make new friends and deepen established friendships.  Serve your friends:  Invite friends over and make them dinner, send encouraging texts and pray for them.    You can give a warm smile to a new church member and invite them out to get coffee.   People are hungry to make connections, but you need to make the effort to reach out to them.   Listen to them speak.  Learn about them.  You have two ears and one mouth so you will listen twice as much as you speak.

            Now is a terrific time to develop hobbies.   Learn how to play the guitar, learn a foreign language, learn how to cook.   The LORD places these desires in your heart for a reason and you will never know how he will use your hobbies to further his kingdom.   Explore your interests.   The more interests you have, the more interesting you will become to others.   Travel to a foreign country, take a missions trip, go on a retreat.    Adopt a pet or volunteer at a homeless shelter.   

So now what?

            Our days are numbered and only the LORD knows how long we each have to be on this planet.   “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” ~Psalm 90:12.  I am going to encourage each of you to live a full life.    This season of singleness is for a reason and the LORD won’t reveal the reason for it until the appointed time.   Use your time wisely.  GODà  Careerà  Everything else.

When making decisions about my time I always ask 3 questions:

Will this help or hinder my walk with GOD.

Will this help or hurt my career

Is this something that has lasting value.

~Sunny :D