The Struggle with Singleness~ Contentment

If you have read my blog for a long time you will notice that sometimes I am content being single and other times it is a very difficult season.    Sometimes I view contentment as a roller-coaster.  Peaks and valleys.  I decided to take a year off of dating in 2017 to focus on my relationship with the Lord.  The first few months were awesome.   However, soon after I made that decision,  I learned that I can't have children.   Instead of feeling a quiet peace about my circumstances, I have become an emotional mess.

I believe that most singles feel this way about being single.   Sure, we can be content being single when we go on missions trips, buy homes or host a party.   But after the excitement ends or the guests leave we are left alone to wrestle with our own loneliness.  

As I am typing this the lyrics to "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day is repeating in my head.  "I walk this lonely road, the only one that I have ever known....."

Anyway, I am definitely in a season where I am struggling with contentment.   I wish I could answer why this is such a struggle right now.   My head knows that marriage is not a cure-all for everything and yet my heart still desires it.

I know that I should express great Joy in all circumstances:

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret to being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
~Philippians 4:11-13

"Be Joyful always; pray continually; give thanks I all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18;

Paul is stating that being content in all circumstances is to just be thankful.    In my journal I have begun to list 3 things I am thankful for each day.   It is helping me to see the things God has given me and has helped me to stop focusing on the things he has not given.

I am by no means an expert on being content.. But I am trying.. One day at a time...


~Sunny :D