There seems to be a stigma attached to women who are single and my age. Single women are identified as: Spinster, Old Maid, Crazy Cat lady. ( I refuse to ever own a cat for this reason). Have you ever wondered where these come from?
SPINSTER
In the 1600's an unmarried women had very few job prospects. The term "spinster" was used to describe a women who had a job spinning wool. Because a majority of these women were single, the term spinster was then applied to single women. By the 1800's the term spinster started to get the negative connotation and was used to describe women who were past the age of marriage. During this time women would often hold off on marriage to a suitor they did not feel was adequate. Sometimes women who did this would find themselves unmarried. Spinsterhood was seen as a consequence for not taking love seriously. Think of books like "Sense and Sensibility" or "Pride and Prejudice" byJane Austin. In these books to remain a single women was viewed as a very negative thing. Unmarried women are perceived as fussy or undesirable.
Many years ago an unmarried women had very few opportunities to survive. Thankfully we live in a society where women are able to get professional jobs. Things are different now. I am unmarried but I am not a spinster. It is completely acceptable for a single women to attend college, get a job and build a life without a significant other.
CAT LADY
Today, we might consider an unmarried woman who dotes on her cats a "A crazy cat lady." Have you ever wondered where the origins of this came from and why cats are perceived as a negative thing for single women to own?
In ancient times, Cats were honored. In some ancient cultures cats were even god-like. For example, in Egypt a cat goddess named "Bastet" was half feline and half woman. In China, a feline goddess was called Li Shou was associated with fertility. Pagan traditions and folklore continued to be passed down. During the rise of the catholic church, they sought to eliminate pagan traditions and considered cats evil and used to recruit young ladies into witchcraft. Thus the association between the two began here. A book titled "Malleus Maleficarum" was written in 1486 to help identify witches. In the book, both women and cats were classified as evil.
Today, the crazy cat women is no longer attached to Wiccan practices but still have a negative connotation. For example:
And as an almost 40 year old woman, this pic is a little unsettling.
OLD MAID
Have you ever played the game of Old Maid? In this card game, you get a set of cards and you start to make pairs of two with your cards. The object is to not have the unmatched card: The Old Maid. If you get dealt the Old Maid, you lose the game. It is not a game about winning a much as it is a game about not losing. This game subconsciously teachers children that if you don't pair off, you are a loser.
As a middle aged single women it is difficult to watch all of your friends pair off and somehow feel left behind. Recently, I listened to "Lava" by Disney. In the song the Volcano is all alone watching all of the animals pair up and for years and years he sings: "I have a dream, I hope it will come true. That you're here with me and I am here with you. I wish that the earth, sea and sky up above will send me someone to lava." The first time I heard this song I bawled. This song (while beautiful) is another example of how those of us who are unpaired feel left out. Like losers.
By now you might be wondering why I have given you this little history lesson. Old Maid, Spinster, Cat Lady. They are just words. For several generations single women had very little options in life.
The words were used to describe women who fell into the worst possible outcome in life.
We can be thankful today that things are different. This is 2017. Women can get college degrees, jobs and purchase homes. We are no longer limited in our options. Being an unmarried women is no longer the worst possible thing that can happen.
Let's forget about these labels and live life abundantly!
~Sunny :D
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