Maybe... You are exactly where God wants you..

I met a friend for Coffee and had the following conversation:

Me: "When I was 20, I believed that God had a future planned out for me.  I had hope.  I am almost 40. When does a hope and future happen?"

Friend:  "What makes you think you are not exactly where God wants you to be right now?"

Me: "How can that be possible.. I am not married and I can't have kids.  My back up plan was to travel the world, but even that is not really happening as I planned.  This is not what I expected my future to be like."

Friend:  "But... Maybe you are exactly where God wanted you to be.  Look,  you are kind, funny, loyal, honest."

Me:  "You just described my dog.  Beside, everyone I know is funny, loyal and honest.  What makes me different from everyone else?  I want adventure, I want to be different.  You know I read all these blogs and books by Single, Christian woman and they are always SO happy they didn't get married because God was able to (Insert really super cool thing they did with their life.). I have not done any super cool things with my life.  I am just.... Here.  Single, infertile, and wondering where 40 years of my life went."

Friend: "You have a Masters degree."

Me: "Everyone has a Masters degree."

Friend: "Everyone does NOT have a Masters degree..."

Me: "My roommate has a Doctorate from Duke."

Friend: (on google) "Ok, according to this study only 8.9% of Americans have Masters degrees." 

Me: "I know people who are married and/or have kids and have advanced degrees."

Friend: "I am not following..."

Me: "Since I am not married, I feel like I should be doing amazing things with my life.  Like, I had to give up my dreams for something else... I just feel like I am missing out on life."

Friend: "Or.. You are exactly where God wants you but can't see it. You have a good job, a good education.  An amazing dog.  Think of all the students you influence over the years.  You are a good friend who helps out many when they need it.  You might not have achieved marriage, children and travel, but many people would think you are doing amazing things for God exactly where you are right now."

Me: "I guess you are right.  It is hard to accept that this is it.  This will be my reality until the day I die. "

Friend: "This is not it.   You are not even 40 yet and things can change quickly with God.   You still have time to maybe meet someone.  You can always adopt children.   You are still young and can travel the world."

This is a hard lesson to learn.  Accepting the realities of my life, finding contentment where I am.  I have to kind of give up my dreams and expectations to really appreciate where I am right now.  And my friend is right, things can change. 

~Sunny :D