Plus 1 is the Loneliest Number

Summer is the time for baby showers, wedding showers, graduations, birthdays and other festivities that always seem to happen in the summer.   With each invitation I receive I am told I am welcome to bring a “Plus 1”.

           

I have decided that “Plus 1” is the loneliest number.  Reading the words “Plus 1” on an invitation is like a formal announcement of my prolonged single state.  My apartment feels empty when I read the words “Plus 1”.    To not bring a “Plus 1” to a social event often leaves me sitting at the kids table or next to that creepy uncle nobody likes to talk to.

I have not gone on a date in almost 2 years so finding a date for an event like a wedding is near impossible.   I am not going to walk up to some random guy at Starbuck and say: “Hi, my name is Sunny.  We just met, want to go to a wedding with me on Saturday?”   Inviting a guy friend is obviously out because rumors fly that you are dating make any social situation awkward.   

Depending on the social situation, I often try to find another girl to go with.  For example, when I am invited to an event for a friend from Graduate school, I will go with another girl from our class.  If I go to an event from a co-worker, I will bring another co-worker.   Sometimes I am faced with a situation that makes me feel like a fish out of water.

I was invited to a baby shower a few weeks ago.  Back in the day baby showers were only for women and husbands were encouraged to stay at home.  Unfortunately this invitation said “Spouses and significant others are welcome”.  I knew I was not going to know anyone at that shower.  Typically when I am find I am “Minus 1” during a “Plus 1” predicament I decline the invitation.  This woman watches my dog when go out of town so I felt obligated to go, if anything just so I could keep in good standing with my low cost, super reliable, dog sitter.  Oh, the politics of adulthood.

On a side note, finding stuff off of a baby registry is kind of like charting unknown territory.   I felt like I was on a safari trying to find a rare species of animal.   

What is a bumbo?  Is this registry even in English?  I was in Target for nearly an hour before I managed to match something on the registry with something I could actually see with my eyes.  My friend was impressed there were actual baby items in the bag.  Honestly, I am too.

Anyway, I digress…

            Upon arrival I felt alone.  I was standing in a room full of people and yet I felt completely alone.   The men were in the back talking about sports.  Several young mothers were comparing notes on the developmental stages of their young toddlers.   I heard discussion about baby diapers, formula, and I now know which detergent is the best for babies sensitive skin.   The pregnant folks were comparing food cravings and sleep patterns.  Other women were talking about their husbands.  My husband works here, my husband does this, my husband does that.   I have nothing in common with those women.   My very pregnant friend was the reason for the event, so I didn’t want to dominate her time with my social awkwardness.

For the first time in forever~  I was speechless.    

            I retreated to the bathroom and I prayed.  I started to feel anxious and I wanted to leave, but I would feel awful to ditch my friend at her baby shower.   I held back tears and I told GOD I was feeling lonely and I asked him to comfort me.   I felt  a little peace as I opened the bathroom door ready to tackle the world.

            10 minutes later a stroke of luck happened!  Someone I knew arrived to the baby shower and I was no longer alone.   She is a teacher too so we were able to relate to each other.  I was very thankful to GOD for providing a companion for me. 

“Plus 1” is still the loneliest number.

~Sunny :D