Life on Pause

I feel like GOD has hit the pause button on my life.  I see so many of my friends going through major life changes right now: relocation, getting married, having kids, writing books, getting advanced degrees.   I am doing nothing.    I have not gone on a date in over a year and I feel like I have reached the “glass ceiling” as far as education and my career is concerned.   I have prayed and relocation does not feel like an option now.  I feel stuck.

            GOD keeps telling me to: “be still and know I am GOD” (Psalm 46:10).   A good friend wrote me this: “Maybe your life is on pause.  But if you go, go, go, you will never have the chance to sit and learn and reflect and prepare for the future.   Don’t rush life.   Think of life as if you are floating in an inner tube.  The river is moving!  Let it do the work for you while you rest and relax and just enjoy the beautiful view of everything around you.  You have been swimming and have not been able to see the beauty around you.”

            I need to prepare for my future~ whatever that might be.   This season is a struggle for me and it really should not be.  Other than my job, I have no obligations.  I am working on myself.    I am making friends and exploring hobbies.    I am becoming more encouraging to people around me; and learning how to control my tongue.

It is funny how this season of my life has made me realize how little I depend on GOD.   I keep thinking: If I knew what the next chapter was I could prepare for it better.   This kind of thinking is meaningless of course.  I don’t need to know the next chapter, I just need to trust GOD with this one and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit.   How can I possibly do a better of job of preparing myself for the next chapter than GOD? 

I wish this blog post was more encouraging than it is.  I am going to be honest with my readers and say that I am in a difficult place right now. 

~Sunny :D