Lightbulb

Have you ever had that lightbulb moment..  That moment when everything that was spinning in your head made sense?  I recently had one of those moments when I was reading the book of Ephesians.

I tend to over-think things.  Some of my friends call it rabbit holes, some of my friends call it circles, one of my friends call it what it is.. Over-anaylizing.    In any case, it's always a trap of Satan to steal my joy.   I worry about the who's and the when's of my future instead of resting in the love of my Savior.   Anyway, here are some good verses for Ephesians.. Enjoy:

“As a prisoner for the LORD, then I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient bearing with one another in love.” ~Ephesians 4: 1-2

I believe that my single status is a calling.  I am praying that this season does not last forever, but it has lasted longer than I (or anyone else) could have visioned for my life.   But I have to humbly ask GOD if I am living a life worthy of the calling I have received?   I want to bring him glory, and honor and praise but I am not sure if I am doing a very good job of it.   I waste a lot of time as a Single women.    I waste a lot of that time worrying and asking:   Why am I still single GOD?

“In him we were chosen having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will” ~Ephesians 1:12

“For we are GOD’s workmenship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which GOD prepared in advance for us to do” ~Ephesians 2:10

I had to prayerfully consider that maybe, just maybe I am single because GOD needs me to do something great.. Something bigger than the "traditional" family that most of my Christian friends have fallen into.   If I am single at 36, I am single for a reason.

I have accepted that I won't have kids.  In fact, I have actually begun to realize that it's probably better for me and my ministry/ job if I keep kids out of the equation.   I am not saying this because I desire to be selfish with my time and money.  I am not knocking motherhood either.  I am saying this because I honestly believe my life is better because I don't have children.  I am able to do SO MUCH MORE for GOD because I don't have children like most women.   (on a side note, I am very, VERY allergic to pain medication so Childbirth would be very unpleasant for me).  It is kind of sad thinking that I am missing out of this very aspect of women-hood, but at the same time.. I have a complete peace about it.   10 years ago I desired to have children, but that desire has changed once I realized that GOD needed me to have the freedom to serve him.

Now, let's talk about the single status thing.  Does GOD want something great from me?   I don't think we have a loving GOD who would keep me single just so I can teach kids.... Lots of perfectly good christian women teach kids and have marriages too.  

I need to do MORE with my single-state.   If I am going to remain single I want to remain single because GOD needs me to do amazing things for the kingdom.... 

Right now I am not doing anything worthy of the calling I have received~   What has GOD prepared in advance for me to do?  What is the purpose of his will for my life?

I have been praying that the LORD shows me what to do next!  (He is a lamp for my feet and he will direct my paths).  

~Sunny :D