Am I enough?

            Rejection has a way to cut into the depths of your soul.  It makes you wonder if you are enough.. Why was I rejected?  I felt like I was on a sixth month long relationship test drive with a guy from my church and then, he suddenly changed his mind. 

Have you ever felt like you were not good enough?  It did not matter what I did, I always fell short of what his expectations were.   I was not as pretty as _____.  I didn’t know scripture as well as _____.   I was not as funny as____.   Everything that happened these past few months had to undergo his stern approval or disapproval.  When I did something right he would hug me and when I did something wrong he would get upset with me and give me dirty looks.   

I was never good enough.

            The sixth month test drive has ended and I could not live up to everything this guy wanted me to be.   In GOD’s big plan for my life, this guy is probably not what was best for me.   The rejection still hurts.  

            I spent sixth months feeling like I was not enough.  I finally questioned GOD and he reminded me that I am enough.

I was created in GOD’s image:

“So GOD created man in his own image, the image of GOD, he created him.” 

~Genesis 1:27

I was created in the image of an everlasting, infinite, all knowing creator of the universe! 

I am HIS child:

“You are all sons of GOD through faith in Jesus Christ.” ~ Galatians 3:23

“The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.  Now if we are children, then we are heirs- heirs of GOD and co-heirs with Christ.”

~Romans 8:16-17

The creator of the universe calls me his child.   I am his sheep and I hear his voice.  I cry out to him Abba, Father… 

I am LOVED:

“The Lords unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him”
~Psalm 32:10

“The eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love.”

~Psalm 33:18

“You are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you.”

~Isaiah 43:4

The God of the universe loves me with an everlasting, unfailing, eternal love.

            Am I enough?  YES!   I am enough to have been created in GOD’s image.  I am enough to be accepted as a child of GOD.   I am accepted enough to be loved by an eternal, infinite, incomprehensible creator of the universe.  I have justified by faith and the LORD is preparing an eternal place of rest for ME!

            Who cares about this rejection from this silly earthy guy?  GOD has big plans for my life and it does not include any nonsense from this guy!

~Sunny :D

"See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands"

~Isaiah 49:16

Dear Crush... Say Something!

Dear Crush,

I know you liked me~  But you lost interest.   You don't want to be with me.
My heart is broken.
This song encapsulates every emotion I am feeling right now.


I don't want to see you.
I don't want to talk to you.
I don't want to be your friend.
I don't want you in my life.

It is too painful.
I would have done ANYTHING to be with you~
I am giving up on you.
It is time for me to move on.


I love you....


~Sunny ;'(

Apology

Hello Readers!  I must apologize that I have not updated my blog in several months. I guess you can say I have been experiencing some distractions which lead to “writers block”.   I am back and I have heaps of things to share with you.  I hope you will continue with me on this journey.  Happy reading!

P.S. Most of these blog posts are not in order.. I apologize for that too..

~Sunny :D

A time to leave...

I have decided it is time for me to take a break from the Singles group I was participating in.   Honestly, I think GOD wanted me out of there months ago but I was too wrapped up in busyness to see it.  

                  Since my birthday (August 8^th), I have felt like I have been constantly having difficulty in my life.  My truck died and I had to replace it.    The new car I purchased has had a ton of problems.  I have had issues with the Fuel sensor and tire pressure gauge.   The windshield wiper fluid button was not working.   During a monsoon, my vehicle drove through some standing water and I got some flood damage which cost me $500 deducible to fix.   I had to go without a vehicle for two weeks while I waited for the parts I needed that were on back order.

This caused me to miss out on the Single’s events at my church.

I was starting to feel exhausted by the burden of this group (coupled with my never-ending car issues) so I asked the pastor in charge of that group to take some things off of my plate.   I think I really offended him because he has been really awkward around me for weeks.  He used to greet me warmly with a hug and now I get a cold thumbs up if he even acknowledges me at all.    I talked to the other leader of this group about everything and told him I was thinking about leaving the group.   He explained that all the problems with my car & the pastor was just Satan’s attack because I was doing the LORD’s work and I made such an impact on the group. 

 It made sense so I believed. Him.

                  I then got into a two month long battle with a male member of this group.   I suspect he might have been interested and I was not sure if I felt the same way.   He asked me if I was gay, or celibate.  I assured him I was not either of those and that I just wanted to take things slowly.    He would ask me why I was not dating and he offered to set me up with every loser in the church. He ripped apart my service to the church, my car, my friendships, everything that made me who I am.    He then told me I had issues and recommended I seek counseling.

It was painful.

I have not had a brother in Christ hurt me so much before.   

I left the group.

                  I cried for a week the day I wrote the pastor of the group and asked to leave.  I have had to tell half truths about why I left the group to all of the friends I have made there.  I don’t want to compromise that group.    However

I also feel immense peace!

                  A weight has been lifted off of me.  I am remembering who I am in Christ.  I am feeling joyful.  I am not talking in circles or worrying about tomorrow.  I am content.   Since I left that group I have not had a single thing happen to my vehicle.  I have not been attacked by anyone.   I have not cried.    I have been able to catch up with family members and update my long overdue blog.  (Sorry readers).  I read the Psalms.   I love the Psalms.  In short..

I feel like me again.

                  I am not sure why GOD wants me to leave this group.   I know I did great things in that group for the LORD while being there.   I am sure the LORD will reveal it to me in his timing!

~Sunny :D

And by their fruits....

One of my friends is interested in a guy who is new to the faith.  She was seeking advice about how to figure out if he was honestly a Christian and how to ensure his faith was genuine.  I prayed about it and here is what we learned.

“By their fruit you will recognize them.  Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles.  Likewise every good tree bears good fruit and, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. “

~Matthew 7:16-18

                  This verse is written to help believers recognize false prophets but I think it can be applied to identifying true believers when unsure.  What is good fruit?

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

~Galatians 5:22

                  When discerning if a guy (or girl) has genuine faith look for growth.   Are they becoming more loving?  Are they demonstrating more patience?  Are they joyful? 

                  More practically.. How do they treat others?  Are they kind to everyone or just people they believe will benefit them?   Do they serve in the church?   Do they have a positive or negative attitude about things?

                  Someone who truly loves Jesus and has a genuine faith will always bear good fruit.  They will not be perfect and will mess up like all believers do. However a true believer will pick up the pieces of their mistakes and grow from it.   There will be growth.   They will learn scripture.  They will become more Christ-like.     Someone who is not sincere in their faith will not bear good fruit.  They will be stagnant in their growth, they will not learn scripture.   

If you are unsure of their walk… Look for the fruit.

~Sunny :D

RED FLAGS

I sometimes think I have the gift of discerning.   I can look at a Single guy and without him even saying a word, I can quickly see red flags.     It is just a feeling I get.  A vibe.   After chatting with a guy in person, I can learn what the red flags are and my gut is usually right.    Honestly, sometimes I need to know someone for months before I can figure out why I am seeing the flag, but the Holy Spirit always shows me.

What things should signify “red flags”?

“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: Sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft,; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like.  I warn you, like I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

~Galatians 5:19-21”

                  In my prior blog post my friend and I were looking for ways to see if someone was genuine in their faith.  Here is a list of things that should signal a red flag.   If a guy (or girl) is demonstrating any of the traits listed in Galatians 5:19-21 it is a RED FLAG.. run, don’t walk away.

                  Sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, orgies:  All sexual sins.  This can include:  Watching porn, masturbation, adultery, fornication and other sins that are sexual in nature.   If a potential mate is participating in any of these things, RED FLAG.   There are TONS of verses that warn believers against this kind of behavior. 

Idolatry is worshiping false gods.  RED FLAG.

Witchcraft/ Wicca:  RED FLAG

Hatred, discord, fits of rage, dissensions, factions all point to someone with a temper.   A person with anger issues is not walking in a right relationship with the Lord.   This is someone who likes to cause break-ups, and cause quarrels.   Someone who lives to cause drama and will even gossip and spread lies to do so.  RED FLAG.

Selfish Ambition.  Sometimes people have good ambitions.  They want a raise to provide for their family better.  They want a bigger home so they can be open to guests.   Selfish ambition is different.   Selfish ambition is rooted in pride.  Someone with selfish ambition will step over anyone they need to step on to gain what they want.   RED FLAG

Jealousy and Envy are kind of the same thing.    RED FLAG

Drunkenness.  REG FLAG 

                  This is very useful list of RED FLAGS.   If I recognize ANY of these things in a potential suitor I run away.  If you recognize any of these red flags in yourself, then you should address these sin habits before getting into a romantic relationship.

~Sunny :D